Jon


I still think of you, you know

when the snows of a thousand winters frozen by melts softly into springs many springs pass now many times the trees have leafed out and reached out

and I am taken by breezes and sunbeams into years ago when

things seemed

simpler

when you were that shy and thoughtful boy I talked for hours with on any conceivable subject in that Burger King in Florida

and sometimes we even laughed.

I took you at face value

I knew nothing of masks then. There was just you and your sweetness and quietness I liked and sought

there was nothing in me warning me to question you no red flags unfurled and years flipped by at the speed of a paper calendar hurricane with the power to make us age and experience and learn about the power of futility

How differently things turned out than I thought they would–

Still.

I remember

the boy with the shy smile and

how he seemed to like me and I him and we were friends we talked nonstop on telephones with cords spanning years and years before

life

became complicated and arduous and we had to be adults in a world in which we never grew up in

we don’t know how.

and I smile a little

sadly.

If

only

Disillusionment by Abigail Larson

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